Oliver D. Bernuetz's Stories

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Eurmal's Acorn

One day Eurmal was going for a walk when he spotted some pretty young women picking acorns. "Oh those pretty young things," he thought and finding an oak tree a little farther on that they hadn't reached yet he hid himself inside a branch leaving just the end of his penis sticking out. Soon enough the girls came along singing and chattering away. One of them spotted the big acorn and reached out to pluck it. She yanked and yanked at it and it just wouldn't come off. The other girls saw her struggling with it and came over to help her. No matter how many of them pulled on it it just wouldn't come off. Soon all of them were pulling on it. One of them saw Vinga a ways off and ran off to get her help. "Vinga, Vinga," she said, "Can you help us with this acorn. It just won't come off". Vinga frowned and wondered to herself what kind of acorn won't come off a tree? She walked up in her quiet way and saw the acorn that the girls were pulling at and thought to herself, I know what kind of acorn this is. She left and came back with Entra the Sow Mother's charges to find the girls lying in an exhausted heap and the tree branch still quivering and writhing. "Silly girls", she said, "You don't pull acorns off of branches. You cut them off and feed them to your pigs". Saying this she pulled out her sword and quickly sliced the acorn off and fed it to the pigs. The branch screamed and burst apart and Eurmal ran away. The girls shrieked in amazement and Eurmal wasn't seen again until the next crop of acorns was ready.

Last updated September 25, 2016

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