Oliver D. Bernuetz's Stories - Lodriland

Oliver D. Bernuetz's Stories

Lodriland - Lodril's Lost Son

Author's Notes: This story is told among the Tunnel Scouts, those brave followers of Lodril who have to spend most of their lives in battle with the icy forces of Lodril's deadly foes.

Now, everyone knows what a hot and lusty god Lodril is and everyone knows that neither he nor Oria are all that faithful to each other but only we Tunnel Scout's know about Lodril's Lost Son. This is how it happened...

Many years ago when Yelm still sat on his celestial throne Lodril's nature wasn't any different than it is now. He was always ready then like now to drop whatever it was he was doing and leap to the fray utilizing whichever of his mighty spears might be most appropriate. Now one day it had been a very long time indeed since Lodril had used one of his spears, Oria being occupied elsewhere and he was sorely feeling the need. He wandered the world miserably looking for a sparring partner but everyone was already paired off. Aggravated and not really paying attention he wandered far afield from his normal stomping grounds. He found himself in the lands close to the stead of his old rival Valind. At that time Valind and Lodril were still just rivals rather than deadly opponents. Their rivalry was based on the argument over which was stronger, fire or ice. When Lodril realized where he was he was going to depart right away since he was in no mood to contend with Valind but then his divine nostrils caught a whiff of a female. And not just a female, but a receptive female. Now this meant she was an animal but Lodril wasn't in any mood to be picky. Donning the guise of a windy storm god one of Valind's kin Lodril changed his other spear to a sword and went looking for the female.

Lodril's not much of a tracker but desperation lent his nostril's great accuracy and he soon managed to find the female. She wasn't much to look at, resembling nothing so much as an homely deer. She was small, gray and brown, had bulging eyes, small antlers and very large hooves. She stood on the ugly great flat plain that make up most of Valind's lands and cropped at some equally ugly-looking low lying plant. Sighing deeply to himself Lodril advanced and greeted the female. Since he had little exposure to Valind's peoples other than rude contests he was uncertain just how he should approach the female. He decided that he would use the courtly language of Yelm's Court rather than the rough and ready ways he was more comfortable with.

"Hail, fair damsel," he addressed her. She stood cropping the plant ignoring him. He tried again, maybe she hadn't heard him. "Greetings beautiful one how are you on this fine day?" Again, no response. What is this? thought Lodril to himself thoroughly exasperated by now maybe she was deaf as well as homely. He waved his hand in front of her face to get her attention. She turned one of her eyes to Lodril, "Oh, were you addressing me? I thought maybe you were talking to someone else." She went back to her grazing. Lodril sighed silently again, dim as well as homely.

"Greetings fair damsel I find myself smitten with your beauty. I would court you." One eye turned to Lodril while the other gazed over the flat plain. "Are you sure you're talking to me?" she asked. Lodril held his fiery temper in check, it had been a very long time after all. "Of course I'm speaking to you," he said, "Who else is there around here with such beauty?" The female closely inspected herself, looked around again and shrugged, "I never really thought of myself as beautiful. I mean I'm certainly utilitarian but beautiful?" She shrugged, "If you say so it must be true." "And who do I have the privilege of addressing?" inquired Lodril. "My name is Reindeer. And you are?" Lodril paused in confusion. A name? He hadn't thought about that. What should he call himself? Something stormy...inspiration struck "I'm one of Valind's kin. My name is Blowhard.". Reindeer nodded, "Sounds about right. So you want to court me? Let's see it's traditional I believe for the damsel to set her prospective beloved some tasks isn't it?" Lodril didn't like where this was going but he nodded reluctantly.

Reindeer thought hard, "Oh, let's see, um how about playing the bagpipes for me. All of Valind's kin can play the bagpipes. I see you left your set at home though." Lodril breathed a sigh of relief. "Fortunately I just happen to have a set right here under this rock. If you would be so kind." Lodril grimaced and moved the huge rock she indicated. Squashed beneath was some sort of skin bag with legs. Too many legs but what did he know. He picked it up and turned it around helplessly in his hands. Reindeer stood placidly chewing while he fiddled with the thing. Finally he put one of the legs in his mouth and blew. Nothing happened. He blew again. Hard. A horribly strangled squeak came out of the thing. He puffed harder and harder and more noises came out. What he didn't notice was that the skin bag was getting larger and larger. Finally with a mighty bang it flew to pieces in his hand. He was knocked on his bum by the blast and sat there stunned. Reindeer looked at him. "I'm impressed. Most people blow in a different bit to play the bagpipes. Interesting technique."

Lodril shook his head to clear it and stood. What would the next task be? Reindeer chomped away looking thoughtful and then she spoke. "Let's see, for your next task I'd...hmmm, oh how about something simple? Let's see you fly. All of Valind's kin can fly, right?" Fly? thought Lodril horrified. I'm the god of lava and heat, not some blowhard storm god or light god. How was he going to fly? He paced nervously while Reindeer chomped placidly. Again inspiration struck. He sat down and built a fire, a snap for him, and pulled out some supplies from his kit. Reindeer watched interestedly as he cooked up a big pot of beans, cabbage and sauerkraut. Once they were done he gobbled the whole mess up and waited. Reindeer watched him curiously. "Are you going to fly now?" she asked. Lodril nodded, "Soon," he mumbled not wanting to open his mouth too far. He could feel activity in his nether regions. He resisted venting pressure for as long as he could and Reindeer became alarmed as he swelled. Finally when he couldn't hold it any longer. Kabloom! With a mighty gust that extinguished the fire and knocked Reindeer down Lodril soared up into the air.

He flew so high that he could see his house from up there. Once he had plummeted to the ground, hard, he picked himself up and staggered back to Reindeer. She watched him approach and shook her head in admiration. "I am impressed" she said, "I've never seen anyone fly like that before." Lodril sat down to catch his breath noticing distractedly the large crater that hadn't been there before. "And the third task is?" he asked hesitantly. "Well, I've been thinking about that while I waited for you to return. I don't really have any enemies and I have all that I could want to eat. What I really want is...a son." Lodril sighed a sigh of relief. Was that all? Finally. He smiled and nodded his agreement. This he could handle.

After he had handled it Reindeer looked at him dubiously from one eye . "Is that it? Are you done? Already?" Lodril bristled, no one else had ever complained. "Yes that's it. I'm done." Reindeer shrugged, "From the way people talked I expected more. Oh well, what should I call my son?" Lodril looked over distracted from where he was trying to get his gear on as fast as possible. "Oh, um, how about Rangifer? It's got a nice ring to it." Reindeer nodded slowly, "Rangifer? Hmm, I like it. Shall I send him to you once he's born?" "Oh, sure." said Lodril, "You know you've been great and you're really swell but I really have to go now. But I'm sure we'll see each other real soon." Reindeer snorted and Lodril started, "Sorry about that, something got caught in my nose." she said. "Oh, well I'm sure we'll see each other again." she added. Lodril stiffly embraced her and turned to go. "Goodbye, Reindeer!" She nodded, "Goodbye Lodril, give my love to Oria." Lodril stiffened and fled as fast as he could with the sound of Reindeer's laughter in his ears.

Lodril sighed to himself, next time he swore he'd just go solo.

This page last modified December 05, 2003

Last updated October 07, 2016

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