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Oliver D. Bernuetz's Stories

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Waha and the Wasis - à la Grandpa

Chorus of rude brats)
"Grandpa, grandpa tell us a story! Tell us a story!"
"Huh, what? Oh you lot again. Want another story do you?"
"Yes please!"
"Okay for a change I'm gonna tell you a story about the gods."
"Oh! We want a story about your great exploits!"
"None of that now you little buggers! Hearing about our gods will do you some good! Maybe learn you somepin'. Hmmm, now which ed-di-fy-ing tale shall I tell you? (Pauses for thought) I know! In honour of Feathered Bison's squallin' brat which has kept me awake for six nights straight I'll tell you the story of Waha and the Mighty Wasis. Let's see now how does it go...ah yes now I remember..."

Now you brats know that Waha is, was and will always be the mightiest of warriors. (Well, except mebbe for the Storm Bull, but never mind). Waha is the mightiest of warriors and Lord of men and animals alike. There is nuttin' he doesn't have mastery over, both the ghosts of the night and the spirits of the day! A long time ago after he had done some right mighty deeds Waha was plum tuckered out. He decided to head back to his house and let his mom Eiritha look after hisself for a whiles. Well he drags his sorry butt back home hangs his shield up outside the door, stacks his spears and javelins beside the door and unbucklin' his sword belt he gits hisself inside. "Hi Mom I'm home!", he bellers standin' there with his sword belt in his hand. Nothin' happens. Eiritha doesn't come to him with the food of greeting, nor does she ask him how things went, no she just stands there looking down on a little critter on the floor. Now Waha has seen hisself plenty weird critters what with battlin' Chaos, ghosts and devils and all but he has never seen this type of critter before.
"What in my name is that?", he asks Eiritha pointin' at the critter on the floor.
"Oh, hello dear, I didn't hear you come in. Have you been home long?"
Waha repeats his question still pointin' at the critter.
"This is the almighty Wasis," she says. "Don't mess with him or you'll be sorry. I gotta run after him day and night doin' his every will. Oh, and don't point dear, it's rude."
"I would not put up with such a tyrant, " sez Waha.
"You wouldn't have no choice," Eiritha sez, " Mighty Wasis holds the past in one chubby li'l hand and the future in the other. He is master of the whole entire world."
"He's not the boss of me," yells Waha, "I is the Lord of Men and Beasts."
He stalked right up to the Mighty Wasis.
"Waha is not afraid of you," he said.
The Wasis cooed.
Waha struck a warriors stance. "I is the strongest of the strongest!"
Wasis sat and chewed on a dead rat.
"I is Lord of Men and Beasts alike!" roared Waha., "Come here!"
But Wasis howled back. He screamed and screamed and screamed until Waha thought his head would split.
"Stop that!" he shouted.
But mighty Wasis just kept right on screaming.
Waha didn't know what to do. He looked to Eiritha but she just smiled at him like to say, I warned you. Not knowin' what else to do Waha danced his ghost dance and sang his songs that raise the dead. Nuttin'. Then Waha danced his spirit dance and sang his songs that scares away devils.
After this, the Wasis stops screamin', looks at Waha, and smiles this great big smile as wide as the whole world. "Goo!" he said.
Plum tuckered out by his heroic efforts to stop the Wasis a'screamin' and a'howlin', Waha collapses in this dead faint.
So if you ever sees a baby sittin' on the floor with a big smile all over its face, chucklin' "Goo!
Goo!" for no good reason, you can guess that it is rememberin' the day it defeated the great Waha, Lord of Men and Beasts, defeater of Chaos.
No one has ever gotten the better of a baby since the beginnin' and no one ever will not ‘til the day the world itself ends.

"And that's all for today so bugger off!"

This myth adapted from "Glooskap and the Wasis" from The Illustrated Book of Myths published by Fenn Publishing, copyright 1995

Last modified January 07, 1998 

Last updated October 07, 2016

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